Falling in love isn't easy.

Falling out of it is much harder.

Currently I am trying to fall out of love... I'm failing miserably!  I fell so hard for Jonathan so hard I haven't had a good amount of sleep in almost 2 months. I can't handle him hating me!  I can't it's killing me!  I've shut everyone out I'm afraid to fall back in love because I know that there is a possibility that I will wind up heart broken again... I don't want to wind up heart broken again. I still love Jonathan he's basically all I thought about today... Then something strange happened another guy popped in my head the guy I like who doesn't like me back... Sigh... :(  I really wish I could just have finished what I was telling him I pouring my heart out putting myself out there but I got crushed...  I hate this... It would be so much easier if I could just get one moment where people think about my feelings before their own!  But no!  No one will give me that!  What I need right now is peace... I love Jonathan I miss him so much!  But I like Jacob and quite frankly even though he doesn't like me back me liking him is helping me get over Jonathan... I just feel like I have no escape from my crazy messed up relational life... Why does this have to be so hard?  It kills me to know that Jonathan doesn't love me anymore to know that he'll never hold me again kiss me again comfort me again love me again look at me like there's nothing better in the world than me... I will never have that again... I hate it!  It kills me!  I can't sleep I just feel like I'm never gonna find love again... All I really want is to be able to say goodbye to him let him go... But he won't even give me that!  :/  And it'd be great if Jacob would give me a second chance but I'm not gonna get that either...