Honestly I don't know what I want anymore... It seems pointless really holding on to Jonathan going back to Chris is stupid Idk what to do.. I'm moving on and quite frankly it scares me... I hate this feeling like I'm backed into a corner with no way out... I'm so lonely it hurts... :'(  I just hate this. It seems like everyone else is perfectly content being single.. But I can't stand it because it hurts to know that the reason I am single is because I've had my heart broken twice by 2 people I truly loved.... It hurts like hell! And I feel like the pain is never going to go away! Why can't I just block out all emotion why do I have to be so sensitive and fragile?